Just Isaac

What a week it has been!!! We went on a weekend getaway trip to Vegas and I'm still stunned that the week has started already. I guess it just seems busier when you've got a sick kid by your side as well. It gave me a break from our routine week nights though. I tutored Nathan through his school work that he'd miss from the day.... prepared dinner.... cleaned up for fellowship tomorrow night.... and sat down to watch a movie with the family. Not bad for a busy day. I just finished my devos for the evening and had to blog some of my thoughts from what I learned because it really "wowed" me.

The story begins in Genesis 16 with Sarah who sorrowfully carried the burden of not being able to conceive a child. In those days, not being able to have a child meant you were probably pretty worthless in society. These days, it's much different. But for any woman out there that's gone through disappointing pregnancy tests, one can empathize the pain of Sarah's sadness. Thinking the Lord had abandoned her in this area, she took things into her own hands and gave her maidservant, Hagar, to her husband and demanded that he sleep with her. That's how extreme her pain was! How far would I go to take things into my own hands? We should not judge her desperate ways....

If you continue to read this heart wrenching story, you'll see the tragic chain of events that affects a circle of people that leads to 2 generations: Isaac and Ishmael. By the time we journey into Genesis 21, we read that God (in His perfect timing), GIVES Sarah and Abe a son. Ishmael was the son of Hagar and Abe, and Isaac was the son of Sarah and Abe. Ishmael was a reminder of what happens when we take things into our own hands while Isaac is a reminder of God's ways.

I find that when I force things to go a certain way or I feel like I need to control things (because God doesn't seem to be showing up) , things never turn out the way I envision. My human side wants things in life to be smooth....easy....happy.....peaceful. Anything different thrown my way and I sometimes want to throw a temper tantrum. But being the adult that I try to be....I hold it in....or I vent .... and it leaves me drained. But tonight's devos beckoned the question: DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SMOOTH AND EASY? "If everything is easy and doable, it doesn't require faith." Yikes....so true.

So my eyes opened this morning at 6:44 a.m. to Nathan saying, "I don't feel good." My immediate response was to roll over and cringe....I screamed in my pillow. The husband wondered why I was mad at  our son for being sick. Noooo... you see, I now have a totally crazy morning. I need to call mom and I know I will get chewed out for not being a better mom. (Somehow when Nathan is sick, it's always my fault...."Did you have him wear his jacket?!!! It's been cold! Oh, it must be when you took him to Vegas this past weekend! Ai-yoh...why did you do that?!" "Yes, mommy, I took Nathan outside in the cold with no clothes on..." ) I rushed around for jeans, a tee shirt that wasn't wrinkled, pinned my hair up in a messy bun, found 2 shoes that somewhat matched, and threw on a few layers of pearls thinking THAT would make me look put together. Somehow by the grace of God, I got Nathan dropped off at mom's for the day and made my way to work JUST IN TIME for my lovely playground duty at 8:15 a.m. I looked like the wind blew me in but nevertheless...I made it.

It was my drive (ok,  race) to work from my mom's that I heard the Lord speak to my heart. My heart was pounding from rushing around...and He asked me a question: "Do you know WHY you can't focus on Me right now? I answer easily at a red light...."Yes...I'm angry at being a poor mom ( in my mom's eyes) and I'm frustrated that my morning was so thrown off." And He gently reminded me that if I stayed focused on my own anger and swam around in my own puddle of emotions, I would never see Him in my day. In other words, I can choose to control the day by staying frustrated OR I could yield my day to Him. I relented .... relaxed my hands on the steering wheel.....and cruised my way to work. The rest of the day took moment to moment effort to stay focused on Him, not me. But the result was a calmer self and it even allowed me "space" to bless others. His grace is sufficient for me....for us.

The author of my devos book penned a song with an interesting chorus. I thought it closed my day so appropriately:

Just Isaac

By Kelly Minter

Chorus:

Just Isaac, nothing more

Just your promise and not my forced, crude hands helping out

Adding stuff til it crashes down

Just Isaac, nothing more

Just your promise and not my forced, mixed blessings and surprises

When everything I ever wanted was just Isaac

Complications and Ishmaels

Why couldn't I believe that you'd be faithful

That you'll have your way, either way

With all my extras or just plain.....

Oh that I may strive to keep the "Isaacs" in my life and not be tempted to create "Ishmaels"! 

Blessings,

Jen