I was quite productive.... I started my morning with a bowl of oatmeal that Nathan had lovingly made me. He placed it on a plate and brought it upstairs where I was getting ready. My sweet boy made sure he put my multivitamin next to my oatmeal. I am spoiled by him. As I took my first bite, I watched his face crinkle into that handsome smile of his as he watched me eating the oatmeal he made me.
After dropping Nathan off at school, I browsed the aisles at Target...alone. Almost as good as savoring a rich piece of chocolate. I headed home and then settled into my time with the Lord with my coffee. And as I dug into His words today, I felt His familiar voice surround me with the assurance that only He could provide. This week has been a healing week. It was full of rest and joy. I think the Lord knew I needed it.
I'm at the end of my study on the book of Ruth. It kinda makes me sad that I have finished a story on someone's life. When I began this study, I thought I would identify with young beautiful Ruth. But as the study went on, and life began unfolding some very challenging times, I found myself identifying with Ruth's mother-in-law, Naomi. "Call me Mara (bitter)"....was on my mind for days as Jay went looking for a new job in the beginning of December. The uncertainty and the feeling of being "unnoticed" by the Lord blinded me from His arms.
In the end of Ruth's story, the focus changed back to Naomi as she held her new grandson in her arms. She was surrounded by her girlfriends probably all ooh-ing and ahh-ing over baby Obed's chubby feet and arms. And then their words of blessings struck me. I learned that despite Naomi's bitter past, the Lord still provided and watched over her. He was not perceivable nor was He apparent in her life. But he was still active. He kept watch over her and Ruth, and orchestrated an interesting line of events leading to Boaz's proposal. This week's study was the closing of this story. It ended with probably the most interesting geneology in the entire Bible. Obed's family tree led to Jesse, who was the father of the future King David, whose family tree would later lead to my own redeemer, Jesus Himself. It's fascinating to reflect on the providence of our Lord.
I have no need to control things in my life. As a teacher, I've learned there is only so much you can control. Flexibility is my middle name! But I realize my fear is more about "being controlled" by others or things in life. When life throws me scary things, my first reaction is the ostrich effect, where I long to bury my head in sand. But I have learned that the Lord still has me in His hands despite everything. He still has a plan for me, to use me despite my flaws, and to bring glory to His name despite the scary corners that life brings me to. Actually, I'm still learning that. It might be a life long lesson, come to think of it. It will be a daily challenge to surrender my will to Him, and entrust Him with my day to day life. But unless I do, I know that my life will be controlled by other things or people.
I ended my morning with my usual yoga workout. I had done my spiritual workout....may as well work out physically too. And as I finished with my last vinyasa, tears poured out of me...from somewhere deep inside...as if the Lord was purging me from inside out....I felt refreshed.
And so I rested in His words this morning......" My child, don't you know that I am here working in your life despite your tantrums? Hold tight to My promises. I have a legacy for you that you are building. Take heart... I want Your heart, whole and true....trust Me, and I will provide your every need beyond your imagination....."
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| This orchid took almost 2 years for regrowth..... a sign to never give up. |
:) love ya
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