Dear Daddy....

Dear Daddy,

         Let's see if I can get through these thoughts to you without tears...... OK, wishful thinking but if I don't somehow jot my thoughts somewhere, I won't feel like I can completely "download" my thoughts with life whirling around me these days. 

       Remember when I was a little girl and I begged to ride on the merry-go-round? You would strap me on my favorite colored horse and stand by me, holding me despite the leather reins around me. Then the carousel would start going around and around and I would fling my head back to feel the whirling wind toss my hair around. I never felt anxious or slipped from my seat despite the way the carousel twirled us around. This week felt like one long scary ride on a crazy carousel of emotions and self-doubt. Why is it so easy to hear the negative voices but never the the positive ones? I can't even count on my fingers how many times I called out to you ....And every time I sighed your name, your voice directed me to the Lord's feet. 

        Somehow when life throws negative things at me, I've been finding it hard to focus on the positives in my life. Perhaps the Lord is testing me in this area. Do I rely on Him for "everything"? This week was such a complex week. So many incidents led to such complicated thoughts and unfortunately, it began to distort my own vision of myself. Self doubt and inadequacy crept in without warning. And I'm writing to you dad, because you always knew the right things to say, and had the most comforting hugs that would erase all of these "things" and remind me of how loved I am....just as I am....all of me. Gosh, I miss you. It's moments like this that still bring tears and searing pangs of heartache and loneliness. 

        So it's hard, daddy, when I'm in these kinds of "ruts" and you're not in your office, at your desk, dropping your pencil in your Bible, ready to listen to me. But this is the Lord's will for us. What is His lesson for me here? To seek Him for that reassurance of who I am as His daughter. My identity is in Him, not the world's. You taught me that. He is able to provide the softening of hearts and the healing of wounded feelings. We learned that lesson together long ago. I'll keep my chin up in hopes that He will heal my soul from the inside out. I am comforted in knowing that even before I utter a word, He knows it already....I love knowing that no matter how deep the negativity takes me, He is there to catch and guide me. "Even if I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, You are there..."-Ps. 139

         It's been so long since I rode the carousel with you. I have to believe that despite your physical absence, His reins will hold me and keep me secure. Thank you for reminding me where to fix my gaze upon....to focus on His thoughts of me. And thank you for listening, daddy. No tea or goodies to share like we used to....but I am comforted in knowing you are in my heart dwelling with my Heavenly Father. I love you, daddy.... 

Always,

Jenny

  

Let's Eat...@ the O.C. Fair!

Yes....every year..... the O.C. Fair........when we eat to our heart's desires and then I return to a month of working out and eating light while the husband rides his bike for like, one day and loses all the weight from eating such yummy treats at the annual Fair.....*sigh.....

This was our first year taking the BUS
to the fair! Such a great deal!
Pay $1.50 each way, get $2 admission to the
fair, get dropped off at the gate...
and spend the rest of your
 money on FOOD!!!!

I know you're thinking....um, where are the pictures of the food you ate? Honestly, fair food is.....ugly and messy.... but yummy. How are you supposed to take pictures if your fingers are preoccupied with fried oil dripping down from your zucchini curls? Don't worry....we had plenty. On our menu was: deep fried oreos, donut  sandwiches, BBQ corn, the zucchini curls, deep fried koolaid (ick!), maple bacon donuts and frozen bananas! I think we pretty much had one of everything at the table. That's the beauty of going to the fair with lots of friends. You get to try everything!

So did you go to the fair yet? What are you going to eat? Or, what did you eat?

On a random note....... my Nathan received a new little pocket sized Bible from one the stands at the fair. While us adults were finishing up our food, guess what he was doing? Reading Psalm 139 to his little buddy. Sometimes I wonder what or who the Lord has us raising...... Yesterday morning, Nate shared with me how he's been praying in the morning in bed before getting up. This was a suggestion he took to heart after guiltily admitting that instead of praying at night, he would fall asleep from exhaustion. I asked what he's been praying for and he responded with such a genuine answer that melted my heart and convicted me all at the same time: "I've been praying that I would focus on God more....you know...not get too carried away with stuff I want." Oh Lord.... this is a prayer I need to pray more often myself.

Alright...enough blabbing for now. Can you believe it's almost the end of July and I have already cracked open my lesson plan book? Ideas are piling up again.... new projects are being made for the new school year.... getting that inspiration again..... Don't worry, I haven't hung up my swimsuit yet. In fact, I'm actually blogging in my bikini! HA!

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly...

We took a fun trip down to San Diego with our dear friends, the Lo family. This was last weekend not the one that just passed us. The weather was gorgeous for a day by the shore....shopping, picking strawberries, kite flying and eating.... But like with all things that are good, life has interesting ways of throwing some lessons in there....or should I say, the Lord has unique ways of throwing some life lessons in there....

Seaport Village

Taking a break....& waiting for our table

Buddies...

The GOOD: 

*strawberry picking in Carlsbad

*tasting the strawberries while picking them

*walking around Seaport Village

*kite shopping

*flying the kite in the sea breeze

*getting henna tattoos!

*finding some TOMS shoes for Nate

*walking around old towne

*dinner at Casa de Reyes

The BAD & the UGLY:

*accidentally leaving the newly bought kite behind & losing it

*walking back to the car trying to console an 8 year old that is quietly sobbing from the loss of the kite

Ok, so the GOOD definitely outweighed the BAD & the UGLY. But that's why I decided to blog this memorable day. I wanted to show my Nathan another way of how we should not focus on the "bad parts" of our day....or even in life. Upon realizing that his kite was gone for good, he wrapped his arms around me and buried his face into my waist to hide his tears from our friends. (Apparently crying in public is not an acceptable thing for 8 years olds.) Good thing we parked quite a ways from Seaport Village. It gave me some time to chat with him on how it's okay to feel disappointed and heart broken when we lose things, especially things that are newly bought. Then I thought it was a good time to bring up the value of earthly things vs. eternal things. We talked about the temporality of worldly possessions. I'm not sure if he was open to accepting that eternal things like our faith in God, our salvation in Him was more important ...especially during such a difficult moment in his 8 year old eyes. So in reality, some comfort was given when daddy said they would look for another kite some other day. So the lesson was a tough one...but a necessary one I think. We learned not to hold onto earthly things too tightly and to not let bad things ruin our entire day. After driving off, we ended up at Old Towne for some grub at the old Casa de Reyes. Good food, fun music, shopping and great company was very healing. We drove home with our bellies full of chips and salsa, our trunk holding a bucket of strawberries, and our hearts content. 

"In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

-- Prov. 3:6

Looking back & looking ahead...

As you all know, I teach third grade at a school where the classrooms are structured in pods. I always get the usual confused look when I try to explain what a "pod" is. So I took some pictures of my classroom back in May during our Open House. It might explain what an open pod classroom is or it might just confuse you more.

My classroom is one of the inspiration pieces in my life. My home is my first blank canvas but next would be my classroom. I figure it's practically my second home so I should make it a place where I feel at home. So here's my second home:

Puffins drawn by the kids: Part of the fun in teaching is
connecting our literature to art and science. Here we did
an observational drawing of a puffin, learned about their
body parts and read a story about their habitats in Iceland.

On the other side of this wall is another classroom. Yup... we
can hear each other's kids. Distracting? Sometimes, but for
the most part, you get used to it.

Our classroom entrance area: the kids hang their
jackets here. This was tricky this past year with
21 boys and only 9 girls. 

BUSY night!

I came home, changed, munched on junk food & read Nathan's
journals from his Open House since I didn't get to go to his
while I was hosting mine. 

So....there you have it.... my second home..... one of my passions in life..... in a nutshell....

*Sigh....so glad it's summer....

"Of Thee I Sing...."

Ok...so I took a longer break from blogging than I thought. School's been out for almost 3 weeks and it's been one fun day after another. I am blessed that as a teacher, I get to spend my summers with my boy who is growing up way too fast.

Yesterday was already the fourth of July. I had fun taking my time prepping to host our marriage fellowship for a BBQ. So here are some photos of the crazy fun I had hosting this "event":

I envisioned a banner going above the buffet table for all the
yummy BBQ dishes. I used scrapbook paper, leftover denim from
cutting my jeans into shorts, burlap and ribbon scraps. 

Started the morning with a strong cup of coffee from
Urth Caffe. This has become my new favorite
coffee....especially when it's made with
this french press gifted by my cousin. 

What's a BBQ without some happy sunflowers to
grace the table? I know...my decoration visions
may seem silly to some people... 

The finished buffet table sans food. See those
seat pillows? I made them with old placemats I
didn't want anymore. So easy! Just sew 2 placemats
together and stuff 'em! Then hand sew them shut.
Oh and to hide the crooked sewn lines? Glue ribbon
over them with some E-6000 glue. Shhh...I won't
tell if you won't.

So just to add more purpose to my banner,
I stamped some fun patriotic words using
my letter stamps (from my classroom).

This was my favorite project. I spruced up my 
dining room chandelier with: a headband
scarf, a starfish, burlap, leftover fabric
scraps from the 80's & a homemade tag.
Loved it so much that I stamped a "happy summer"
tag so I can keep it up for awhile.

Yes... even Olive joined in the festivities...

Jello poke cupcakes: just white cake mix,
poked holes for jello syrup & covered with
a whipped cream frosting.

Messy but fun!

Ta-da! Um...sorry for the sideways picture.
I can't figure out how to rotate it on
blogger....But they sure were yummy!
Mixing the cool whip with some vanilla
 pudding mix made for a light creamy touch!
Add red, white and blue sprinkles for a
festive touch. Add blueberries...for um...
its healthy antioxidants. 

How we kept the kids busy while the
food was being grilled.

Swimming buds

Splish, Splash!

Buffet table: tablecloth found at Big Lots,
vase from Goodwill was filled with cheese
puffs, a subway print was found online,
and flowers were cut from the front yard.

I spy a gnome....

The grub: mexican style corn, grilled meats
of all kinds, asian slaw, "crack" sushi (cuz
it's addicting!), and somen salad. 

Giving thanks...

Brotherly love: So this happens quite
frequently where these two wear the same
exact thing and sit the same way. 

We finally found rocket popsicles (at Target).

A memorable Fourth Of July!

I am so blessed to be surrounded by family and friends to love and have in my life. I may have my moments of griping about life, but it's humbling to sit back and look at things from heaven's viewpoint. I've been saying more often these days:" This too shall pass........be present."